One source of conflict in families that are providing long term care for a loved one is a lack of or perceived lack of communication between family members about the individual receiving care. This conflict can sometimes erupt into stressful family arguments that interfere with the loved one’s care or even costly litigation. One way to avoid this possible source of conflict is for the family member or members providing care to create a practical communication plan that provides information and updates on the status of the loved one to all other family members.
Email is a free effective communication tool for communicating with family members. There are several free email services through which family members can get accounts, including www.gmail.com, www.yahoo.com and www.hotmail.com. Internet access is also available free nearly everywhere, in public libraries, many restaurants and other public places, and via cell phones. The easy access to electronic communications makes email a preferable way for families to disseminate information on the care of a loved one.
To work, family members give their email addresses to the family member who providing the care. Caregivers then set aside a few minutes each week to write a family email to everyone who has provided an email address updating the family on the individual receiving care. The caregiver email should include, to the extent reasonable, updated medical and medication information, updated financial information, any signs of the loved one’s declining condition, a short list of activities in the week, and any developing concerns related to the loved one. Caregivers can also use this email to ask the non-caregiving family members for assistance such as financial support, respite care, or even to send a card or flowers to brighten the loved one’s day.
Example of a Caregiver Communication Plan Email Updating Family On Mom
These emails should be kept in a separate folder in the caregiver’s email box so that they can be reference in response to family member questions or to head off disagreements in the event conflicts arise in the family.
In addition to a weekly email letter to everyone in the family, the caregiver should also set aside a time when the loved one can either make phone calls to other family members or the caregiver can assist the loved one in making phones calls. If talking on the phone is difficult for the loved one to due hearing loss or dementia, all family members should be notified and another form of communication such as written notes or cards should be requested.
Family members who are not caregivers should also understand that caregiving is a time consuming and stressful activity. Demands for immediate or more than weekly communications from a caregiver may not be able to be met. Family members who want more frequent communication with a loved one should be sure that their requests are practical in light of the loved one’s abilities and the caregiver’s burden. One family decided collectively that at least once a week, each non-caregiving family member would send a short note in a pretty card to their mother/grandmother. The caregiver could then read the cards to her mother each evening before mother went to bed.
How does your family communicate with its loved ones who need care and those family members providing care? We are always looking for original ideas that promote easy family communication and alleviate family stress and conflict.
