Communication is essential to ensuring your elderly loved one receives necessary care without unnecessary family conflict. To facilitate this communication, a family care meeting can help keep the entire family involved and maintain a viable plan to keep the elderly loved one safe, healthy and independent as long as possible.
Holidays are a good time to have a family care meeting because many family members come together at one time and can discuss the care needs of an elderly loved one who may need or is receiving care. Depending on the capacities of the loved one, he/she should also participate in this meeting to the extent possible.
Topics that should be discussed at the family care meeting include the following:
1. Your loved one’s current health status including any chronic or worsening problems.
2. Your loved one’s current caregiving arrangements and assistance.
3. Whether your loved one’s caregiving arrangements and assistance are sufficient.
4. Any anticipated changes that will need to be made to the caregiving arrangements after the family care meeting.
5. Whether your loved one’s medical and mental health conditions have deteriorated enough that he/she needs to be moved to an assisted living facility or nursing home to provide sufficient care.
6. Whether additional family members need to begin assisting the loved one and what assistance will be provided by each family member.
7. The status of your loved one’s finances and whether or not they are sufficient to support or continue to support his/her care needs.
8. Whether or not your loved one will need to access public benefits such as Medicaid to pay for care. If so, it must decided who will be responsible for completing the applications.
9. The status of your loved one’s advance directives and durable power of attorney and whether additional estate planning documents need to be completed a guardianship sought to ensure decisions can be properly made on for your loved one.
10. Discuss any end-of-life plans or concerns your loved one may have or have previously expressed when competent.
11. Finally, be sure to discuss any needs or concerns your loved one’s primary caregiver may have. This is essential since the primary caregiver has knowledge of your loved one’s daily habits, problems and issues.
Without communication, many families fall into conflict. This conflict can damage your loved one’s care. It can also lead to expensive and devastating legal actions that can fracture families for generation. If your family is having difficulty discussing your loved one’s care, it may be helpful to seek the assistance of an elder law attorney or elder law mediator who can help facilitate the discussion despite family emotions.
